Every one of my boyfriends except for one, who was severely bipolar and my ex-husband were narcissists. I know a lot of other borderlines who say they have the same problem-they simply are not attracted to a man or woman who is not a narcissist. There are reasons why this happens. Cluster B disorders are all characterized at their root by problems establishing an identity early in childhood and integrity of the Self which causes people with these disorders to act out toward themselves or others in destructive ways and to have problems either accessing or developing prosocial emotions like empathy. All are prone to lie excessively and manipulate others. Antisocial personality disorder ASPD or psychopathy is the most likely to break the law and violate the rights of others many are in prison , act impulsively, and have no empathy at all. Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD is less likely to break the law but this is not a given-some narcissists will break the law if they think they can get away with it due to wanting to present a good image to others, but have little, if any, empathy, and act out toward others and manipulate them to protect the False Self they use in place of their true one which cannot be accessed.
Cluster B disorders tend to occur in families, in varying configurations.
The 3 stages of a relationship with a borderline woman
Therefore, borderlines and narcissists who were raised in abusive families tend to be attracted to people who unconsciously remind them of other members of their families, especially the parents.
This type of connection is called a trauma bond because the connection is due to shared trauma and a conscious or unconscious willingness to to be abused or to abuse a partner.
Some of these trauma bonds are examples of Stockholm Syndrome, where the abused identifies with their abuser. Going No Contact with a narcissist is the best gift an abused borderline can give herself or himselfbut separating may be especially hard for them and they are likely to be drawn to another narcissist, so they need to stay on guard and be especially vigilant of red flags.
The ex before me was diagnosed borderline. He bragged about his actions towards her near the end of our relationshit.
Like Liked by 3 people. How awful! Like Liked by 2 people. Like Liked by 1 person. Like Like. I wrote a post stating that a relationship Justin Timberlake who in his Mirrors video appears to be a narcissist and Taylor Swift who in her Blank Space video appears to be borderline would be a match made in Hell. Good catch!
That would be a match made in hell. Taylor Swift seems very codependent to me, but she could have BPD. Reblogged this on HelpingOthersHelpThemselves.
Borderlines dating other borderlines
It would certainly explain a lot. You might have some other disorder, if any.
I just thought it would be interesting to know if my condition has a name. I sure do know what it feels like to always feel different from everyone else.
Jul 24, † I know a lot of other borderlines who say they have the same problem-they simply are not attracted to a man or woman who is not a narcissist. There are reasons why this happens. Both BPD and NPD are included in the category of Cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-V (along with Histrionic and Antisocial personality disorders). Jul 09, † How long is a piece of string? Borderlines lack a core sense of self, they need a rock to hold onto, anyone who needs to sabotage and destroy their life needs solidity, this is usually provided by an extremely patient person who gives up their nee. Relationships Why Do Narcissists and Borderlines Fall in Love? This analyzes their reasons for falling for each other. Posted Nov 28,
And who says our beat is weird? These bits of wisdom come from finally recognizing and accepting myself for who I am now also age 60 and caring less about what other people think.
I have always been a worrier, a quality inherited from Mom. Mom never accepted this but fortunately I have, at least in most circumstances.
I expect to live to 90, which means I have a third of my life ahead of me. I expect a lot of things to change in that time.
I have had psychiatric care a couple of times in my life. Psychiatric care may or may not do you any good as it can take a lot of time, effort and frustration to determine what treatment will be of max or even some benefit for any one individual. Based on my experience, it can even make you feel worse before you feel better. Perhaps the best any of us can do you is to make peace with our peculiarities as you and I have done.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Apr 27, † My boyfriend and I are the perfect example. And I can tell you I never had such a relationship. It is extremely difficult but also very beautiful. There are good days and bad days like in every relationship but it's muuuuch more intense. For examp. Jun 25, † were not together things were not always seeming out of control. Does anyone know if it's common for borderlines to be with one and other. I recently found out that he was doing online dating. I confronted him and walked out the door, ending the relationship. It's been really hard because he's a good friend and my mother is dying. Jun 01, † When it comes to dating with BPD, it is possible to make it work, and it can be extremely rewarding for both parties involved. Having a mental illness doesn't make someone less simplybeyondexpectations.com: Ashley Laderer.
Let me correct you on that. I think I just got an idea for a new blog post. Actually, this reply was for bluebird.
Why narcissists and borderlines are drawn to each other.
Today I learned how to add emojis to my comments. Thank you for writing this.
Again, thank you. Thanks for these descriptions.
After too many years of relying solely on medication, she has finally restarted counseling. I hope that by this route, and by doing the work which we know is hard for anyone, she may be cured while family members, and others who have lived though these years with her, are still alive to see it.
As a matter of fact, I hope that she will still be alive to see it! Corinne explains, "Sometimes it comes up naturally in conversation toward the beginning of things, if we're discussing mental health. Otherwise, I have to kind of disclose things when I have a moody or depressive episode and have inevitably taken it out on them.
She adds, "I wouldn't say it's ruined any relationships, but I would say that I am very hard to love because of it. Courtney, a year-old living in Minnesota, has been married for three years while battling BPD, among other mental illnesses. I really need someone who is trustworthy.
Talk more about the qualities that they need in a relationship to feel safe so that their borderline tendencies won't be exaggerated. All three women agree that BPD has taken a toll on their dating lives and has put them in less than ideal situations.
I need to stay vigilant and remember that my husband is on my side, even when I am in a negative phase and hate myself.
I allowed myself to be with several abusive men, and the BPD in me would refuse to walk away. I have to work extra hard against BPD to make sure I'm not basing my self-worth around my relationships. Unfortunately, BPD can be a lifelong battle, which can mean a lifetime of rocky relationships, especially if the sufferer does not get treatment. They typically have their loved ones involved in that.
So I would advise anyone dating a borderline to get involved in their DBT work, their counseling sessions, and learn from the experts.