By Lauren Steussy. May 2, pm ated May 3, pm. The term entered the lexicon of heartbreak thanks to a viral post Wednesday. Its original poster shared that her partner of four years had all of a sudden slowed down his communication with her - to a trickle - only getting back to her every couple days. The frightening new word follows a long line of awful things that can happen to those in relationships.
The tangled web of online dating | Sonia Sodha
They don't make serious moves to deepen the connection, but they don't extinguish the hope of a future relationship, either. It's like when an athlete is benched during a game: They're not actually playing but they might get put in later if the coach needs them.
If you're being stashed, it could take a while for you to realize it. On the surface, your relationship might seem perfect: You go out all the time, they text you consistently, and you're spending almost every weekend at their apartment.
There's just one problem: You haven't met a single one of their friends or family members, and, come to think of it, they haven't posted any photos of the two of you on social media. Congratulations, they just might be stashing you - in other words, they're keeping you separate from the rest of their life, possibly in order to date other people at the same time.
Definitely a low blow. Submarining is sometimes the sequel to ghosting.
What Is Benching, And Should I Let It Bother Me?
Picture this: After an amazing handful of dates with someone, all of a sudden, they disappear. Boom, you've been ghosted. You pick your ego up off the floor only for them to text you weeks later, asking to hang out again as if nothing happened. This is submariningor peacing out and then popping back up like a submarine resurfacing from underwater.
If it seems like a submariner genuinely wants a relationship with you when they reappear, it's worth asking them what happened, because this is shady behavior.
Have you ever gotten the feeling that your partner is more committed to their phone than they are to you? Welcome to phubbinga combination of the words "phone" and "snubbing. Given that many of us are glued to our phones on a daily basis - the average American spends a whopping five hours on mobile devices a day, according to analytics firm Flurry - it's no surprise that this obnoxious dating trend is on the rise.
Dating trends ghosting benching
A word of advice? Keep your phone in your pocket or purse during date night.
Like submarining, zombieing is when someone who previously ghosted on you reappears in your life. The difference?
This person from your past was out of your life, and now they want back in. They're coming back from the dead, get it? But hey, sometimes reviving a long-lost relationship works out. That's zombieing, obviously! It's hard to keep up with all the dating trends out there, so I, your very best friend, decided to make a glossary of all these dating terms for you to help you look out for these annoying trends and shut them down if you're dealing with them.
Ghosting is when that person you were dating - whom you thought you potentially had a future with - suddenly vanishes from your life completely without warning. People who ghost are just not that into you. They're cowards who would rather run away than give you the closure you deserve. If there's a severe lack of communication between you two, lots of last-minute canceled plans, obvious lies, and a slow fadeaway, they're probably ghosting you.
Benching is essentially when your crush leads you on but makes no effort to see you IRL. And most likely, you are there with a lot of other people.
And when you ask what's going on, this person will always have an excuse.
Zombieing is when you think you are ghosted by your crush, only to have them return weeks or months later with a random text or social media like. The people who zombie you are people who are emotionally manipulative and who don't really know what they want. They're likely commitment-phobes as well. If you've ever played sports in middle school who hasn't?
May 02, Add this one to your sad dating dictionary: trickle ghosting. The term entered the lexicon of heartbreak thanks to a viral post on Wednesday. Its original poster shared that her partner of. Mar 22, As technology shapes our love lives, viral terms to describe infuriating dating trends are entering our lexicon. From ghosting to phubbing to kittenfishing, here are nine relationship behaviors to. Jun 21, I'm sick of hearing people complain about being ghosted because "benching" is much worse than ghosting. It's actually more common, too. Here's .
Benching in dating strikes a similar definition. In short, a bencher keeps you in their rotation while playing the field talk about a perfect analogyregardless of whether or not you're sitting there waiting and hoping for a monogamous relationship.
Because even though they are clearly interested-if not, they may pull the slow fade -they haven't decided to commit to any sort of two-person team. When someone benches you, that's a surefire sign that they're not into you enough sorry to be exclusive-a super common byproduct of today's swipe culture.
And though it can come off as harsh, benching-or more specifically, dating multiple people at once-is what you're supposed to be doing, says Ann Rosen Spector, PhD, a clinic psychologist in Philadelphia. Seeing several people at once is the best way to figure out what you're really looking for and who you truly want to spend more time with, she says. It also helps you avoid getting emotionally attached to a person before they've truly invested in you, adds WH advisor Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City.
May 07, Benching is a modern dating trend that involves keeping you on hold while the person continues to date other people, or play the field. An expert explains why benching is . Jun 09, "Benching" Is the Cruel New Dating Trend That's Even Worse Than Ghosting. You may be a victim and not even realize it. By Brittney McNamar a. June 9, May 08, Earlier this year, "ghosting" entered the Merriam-Webster dictionary, and newer terms like "cushioning" won't be far behind. For the avoidance of both confusion and online dating gurus Author: Gavin Haynes.
And there's really no reason anyone including you should feel the need to settle down with one person after X amount of dates. Sometimes people want to keep dating around because they find it fun, or because they crave something casual perhaps they got hurt in the past, saw their parents separate, or just personally prefer keeping things "light"Spector explains.
Decoding the dating trend known as breadcrumbing
That said, while benching isn't a big deal, it can feel a bit While you can't exactly stop someone from benching you, you certainly can stop yourself from feeling led on.