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Are you wondering how you can cope with a drunk mother during the holidays, or how you can help her? Have friends told you that you are an enabler for your spouse? Do you find yourself suffering the consequences of a loved one's alcohol problem? It can be hard to hear that you need to change yourself when a loved one is living with alcoholism. After all, it's their problem, isn't it? Unfortunately, you can only change yourself, and the only way you can interrupt and change the current course of your interactions with people with substance abuse disorders is to change your reactions. Many times, the frustration and stress can be caused by your own actions and choices.

Are you wondering how you can cope with a drunk mother during the holidays, or how you can help her? Have friends told you that you are an enabler for your spouse? Do you find yourself suffering the consequences of a loved one's alcohol problem?

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It can be hard to hear that you need to change yourself when a loved one is living with alcoholism. After all, it's their problem, isn't it?

Signs That you may be Dating an Alcoholic

Unfortunately, you can only change yourself, and the only way you can interrupt and change the current course of your interactions with people with substance abuse disorders is to change your reactions.

Many times, the frustration and stress can be caused by your own actions and choices. In some ways, knowing that you can change your approach and attitude is empowering.

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You no longer need to continue doing some of the things you do in your dance with a person with an addiction. Here are 10 things that you can stop doing that may help relieve the pressure.

It's typical for alcoholics to try to blame their drinking on circumstances or others around them, including those who are closest to them. Don't buy into it. If your loved one is truly an alcoholic, they are going to drink no matter what you do or say.

It's not your fault.

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They have become dependent on alcohol, and nothing is going to get between them and their drug of choice. You may tend to think, "If she really loves me, she wouldn't lie to me. They may not be in control of their own decision making.

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Many family members of alcoholics naturally try everything they can think of to get their loved one to stop drinking. Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving the alcoholic's family members feeling lonely and frustrated. You may tell yourself that surely there is something that you can do.

But the reality is that not even alcoholics can control their drinking, try as they may. Even knowing that, you may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis.

In reality, that is usually the time when the family should do nothing.

Dating an Alcoholic

When an alcoholic or drug abuser reaches a crisis point, sometimes that's the time the person finally admits they have a problem and begins to reach out for help. For those who love an addict, it is very difficult to sit back a let the crisis play out to its fullest extent. When addicts reach the point in their substance abuse when they get a DUI, lose their job, or get thrown in jail, it is a difficult concept for their loved ones to accept that the best thing they can do in the situation is to do nothing.

It seems to go against everything they believe. Unfortunately, this causes the cycle to repeat You don't have to create a crisis, but learning detachment will help you allow a crisis-one that may be the only way to create change-happen.

Make no mistake about it, alcoholism, or alcohol dependenceis a primary, chronic, and progressive disease that sometimes can be fatal.

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You are not a healthcare professional, and even if you are, you should not carry the responsibility for treating friends or family members. You are not a trained substance-abuse counselor, and again, even if you are, your role should not be a counselor.

You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again.

The treatment for a high-functioning alcoholic is the same as for any other type of addict, Benton says. Ask your doctor about getting help - whether it's from a therapist, psychiatrist, or Author: Melissa Bienvenu. Counseling/therapy is a good way to identify issues that are leading you into destructive relationships with alcoholics or other addicts. Loving an alcoholic is one of the most painful things you will ever have to cope with. Yet, it doesn't need to be, simplybeyondexpectations.com in his book, Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict gives you the strategies that. Nov 28,   Avoid making alcohol a central part of your social events or regular life. Help Guide reports that for most recovering alcoholics it is important for them to avoid things such as social interactions and social situations which trigger cravings for alcohol 2. Ask the person you are dating how he feels about you drinking alcohol 2. Discuss with.

That's the alcoholic's responsibility, not yours. You can't cure a disease.

Help im dating an alcoholic

No matter what your background happens to be, you need outside help. Alcoholics usually go through a few stages before they are ready to make a change. Until an alcoholic begins to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to "help" her quit will often be met with resistance. Even though it is not your responsibility to "cure" your loved one's alcoholism, you may be interested in knowing some of the things that make drinkers want to stopas well as some of the things which get in the way of an alcoholic getting sober.

You may wish to consider a family intervention. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Share with her your views and experiences with alcoholism.

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Be open about your concerns and hesitations about dating her. Creating an air of openness and honesty lets her know that she can be forthright and builds trust between the both of you.

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Attend an Al-Anon support group. Al-Anon is a support group focused on the people affected by alcoholism, such as wives, husbands, parents, partners and children; these groups allow people to share their experiences and benefit from the support of others.

Find a local Al-Anon group. Make time to go to one of their regular meetings.

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Share your story and why you have come to the meeting. Continue your participation in the support group for as long as you feel necessary. Avoid making alcohol a central part of your social events or regular life.

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Help Guide reports that for most recovering alcoholics it is important for them to avoid things such as social interactions and social situations which trigger cravings for alcohol 2. Ask the person you are dating how he feels about you drinking alcohol 2. Discuss with him whether he is comfortable with you drinking in his presence.

Be respectful of his desire to maintain his sobriety and change your drinking patterns based on his needs.

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Is your date's behavior a sign of alcoholism? These are understandable concerns. It is no fun to be involved in a relationship with an alcoholic. It is better to know before you get too involved, whether your prospective partner is drink dependent.

If you think that you may be dating an alcoholic then there are certain signs that you can look for in their behavior.

Return from Dating an Alcoholic to Living with an Alcoholic. Comments Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below. Assess your drinking now! Got a Question about Alcoholism?

Advice If You're Dating or Married To Someone with Drug/Alcohol Issues

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