Dating is difficult enough as a millennial. Meeting even someone who I think the world of leads to the Herculean task of trying to find the right time to break the news that, no matter how healthy my body appears, it lives with a chronic illness - and always will. Welcome to the technological age where texting is the main form of communication, and no one wants to be committed to another person in any way, shape or form. There is no correct or easy answer, and while most people take it pretty well, I can tell even sharing with them the metaphorical blurb of my health issue freaks them out. There is no cure for lupus and at some point - whether near or far - my health will most likely start to deteriorate because of it. There is very little I can do about that.
Personally, I have had some ups and downs when it comes to online dating, not stating that all my connections have ended horribly or that I have had experiences that would deter me. That is not the case; unfortunately in life everything has its perks and downfalls and you just have to roll with the punches.
For instance, I was on the phone at baltimore.
Thank-you Zoe, I really appreciate it! I was diagnosed with Lupus at 19 in my first year at University. I found it really hard to cope with student life, let alone dating.
Lupus dating someone with
I was lucky, however that I found my husband in my final year at Uni when I had just been diagnosed with Lupus Nephritis and was going through chemo.
I wish you all the best with your health, sending much love and well wishes from Australia! This is so beautifully written, this line in particular has stuck with me. All the best Kristiana.
Thank-you so much Niamh, I really appreciate it!! Datting and commiting with lupus is quite a difficult task. I was first diagnosed with lupus whem I was 14 years-old. During that summer I was not alowed to get to the beach dispite having a house just a 2 minutes walk distance. I was kepted at home during the days and olny get out at night. As the relationship ended I was left completed alone.
I did managed to have more two relationships but at the age of 20, whem people start to think of getting married I was soon put aside again as it might be difficult for me to have childrens. No one told me that but I know for sure that that was the reasons why I was left.
There were difficults times by then. I got depressed and got a Lupus flare. I seem to lean on old familiar ways looking for a long term commitments rather than small feat relationships.
Besides, breaking it up get me depressed, stressed and boost my Lupus and I get worse. During all my teens I had to managed relationships the best I could trying to avoiding conditions that might lead me to a Lupus flare.
I have never found anyone who was realy interested in understanding Lupus. People are just too busy with themselves, so I am still single. I guess chances are few whem you are so young.
When dating you first try to forget that you have lupus but as far as a long term relationship is concerned you can not just pretend that you have no Lupus and have to deal with your partner and face difficulties. As I have never found anyone who was realy interested in knowing Lupus I am Single! I guess i have married to my Lupus and it is quite a difficult relation to deal with. Dating and commiting with Lupus is quite a difficult task. Beautiful article!!!
Lupus can have a significant impact on a relationship and many people with lupus have very happy, successful and fulfilling relationships. It would be entirely wrong to believe that because a person has lupus they can never experience a happy and fulfilling relationship or that the relationship that they were in before they were diagnosed is doomed to failure. The chronic pain and fatigue associated with lupus can affect more than your health; many patients find that their condition interferes with their sexual relationships, as well. Reasons for that.
I met this beautiful woman who is having Lupus, we have met and I have a little crush on her. I care about her and want to be there at her worse and her better. I feel like she is scared to commit and all i have been doing is giving her space when she go silent, and text her and there to say That i think about her and hope that her day is going well. One day she say she want to see me again and then disappeared.
She have been open about how she feels ect, I just have no idea what is best to do in this situation,You all women who have this are really strong and I cant imagine how horrible that could be to live with it always. Hi MJ!
Hope everything worked out for you! The world needs a few more people like you it would seem!
No, my wife left me after 26 years of marriage because I was diagnosed with Lupus. She did not want to be with someone who can be sick so much.
Young or old there is always people who will not commit. I would have stayed with my wife if she had developed a chronic illness.
A lupus dating site could be a start. Hello again Kristi - I was wondering if I was sone how able to purchase your entire column, from its begining in to present in book or kindle format. Regards - Mel p. Might be an idea for when I retire one day haha?
Hello Kristiana, I recently started dating a woman who has Lupus. In the meantime, I was swelling up. My legs and feet had ballooned like crazy, my heart rate after lying in bed for several weeks was high as if I ran a marathon, and I had difficulty urinating, so nurses had to shove a catheter inside of me.
After doing every blood test, MRI, and CT scan possible, I was finally visited by a kidney doctor who informed me that my kidneys were failing a symptom of lupus and I would probably need to be on dialysis.
In short, I honestly thought I was dying.
Sometimes, at my darkest moments, I even wish that I were. Treatment plans are very individualized and the key to controlling it is to be put on the right combo of meds. For me, it was a combination of steroids, immunosuppressants, and various supplements.
My body also quickly responded to the medications given to me and my kidneys turned around quickly, so I was able to avoid the whole dialysis route. After spending about a month in the hospital while doctors ran all the tests possible to confirm that I indeed had lupus, I spent another three weeks in a rehab hospital in order to get back to how I was.
But when life hits you with something challenging like a medical condition, it really changes your perspective on a lot of things. As people with lupus would know, we need a good combination of meds to keep us living normal, stable, and pain-free lives.
What if they find out I have to take like 10 pills every morning and night? It really is. I used to have beautiful, long, thick hair.
Oct 26, Dating is difficult enough as a millennial. I've always hated the concept of dating, but now despise it even more. Meeting even someone who I think the world of leads to the Herculean task of trying to find the right time to break the news that, no matter how healthy my body appears, it lives with a chronic illness - and always will. Oct 08, In the end, dating while you have lupus is like dating without it. You're going to have ups and downs. You're going to have good days, and you're going to have simplybeyondexpectations.com: Kristine Fellizar. Dating someone with lupus? Support Forums > Lupus If you love or care for someone, this shouldn't be an issue. but it nonetheless is a tremendous stressor that scares me. Hi- I came upon this thread when researching. I have been dating somebody with lupus for a little over a year. Yes, there are good days and bad days, but it can be.
People would compliment me on it all the time. But when I started going on high dosages of steroids, I found that my beautiful thick hair of head had become very thin. I cried the first time I was forced to get a haircut because my hair had become so thin.
For some people, being on high dosages of steroids to treat lupus can cause weight gain. But I survived that. Now, I can run up the stairs two steps at a time if I want to.