If you find yourself on the market in your 40s, you know how daunting it can feel. Long gone are the days of countless single friends, countless single bars, and endless time on your hands. And besides, you may feel a bit rusty-even nervous! But listen up: Don't worry, brother! Looking for love in your fifth decade isn't nearly as difficult as you may imagine. Just follow these key pieces of dating advice for men over So you've been out of the game for a few years?
If you find yourself on the market in your 40s, you know how daunting it can feel. Long gone are the days of countless single friends, countless single bars, and endless time on your hands. And besides, you may feel a bit rusty-even nervous! But listen up: Don't worry, brother!
Looking for love in your fifth decade isn't nearly as difficult as you may imagine. Just follow these key pieces of dating advice for men over So you've been out of the game for a few years?
Let me get you up to speed. Today, we're all a lot more searchable and socially connected, so, just as you'd leave a "positive paper trail" for potential employers who Google you, you need to do the same for your love life.
I'm Over 40 and Single. Here's What I Do to Meet People.
Get on social media and make sure you're projecting a healthy image into the world. She will be Googling. And up your text game. You will find yourself doing more texting than you've ever imagined.
And for more great tips, it wouldn't hurt to brush up on the 40 Best Compliments to Give People Over Some things never change: You should arrive on time, be present, take a genuine interest in who she is and what she derives meaning from, offer to pick up the tab, and see that she gets cab if she's going home or stand outside while she enters her home safely.
If she's going to yours, always remember to solicit enthusiastic, verbal consent for everything you do. Before you sign up for every dating app you've heard your single friends raving about, imagine what you want this whole adventure to look like.
Again, your date will be Googling you. So correct misinformation they may find, or at least be prepared to prove that you're not the escaped serial killer who shares your name. Some people like to meet potential dates at bars or cafes. Some like a set-up orchestrated by friends. Others prefer to go looking for love-or at least fun-online via the use of a dating app. It's important to figure out what feels most natural to you and resist the urge to do what works for a friend.
If you're going the dating-app route-and, inwe'd encourage you to-we've got your back: Here are The Best Dating Apps if You're Over You may have a little less hair, a few more wrinkles, and a wider waist these days, but don't let the reality of not being in your 20s or 30s anymore lead you to think that your appeal has diminished.
Quite the contrary. Today you're older, wiser, and should carry yourself with more confidence than you did in your 20s. Turning 40 means you've been losing testosterone for up to a decade. Consequently, your body composition has probably taken a hit and your lard-to-hard ratio is not what it once was.
A bigger gut doesn't just give you the silhouette of an older gent, it also poses the risk to diminishing your sexual function.
The remedy is no great mystery: Hit the gym. If you're back in the game after a few years away, you may be surprised to discover that you're hairier than your younger male competitors out there. Now, you needn't go all Ken doll on us, but if your chest, back, and privates are indistinguishable from those of a grizzly bear, a trim may well be appreciated.
We know: You hate shopping. That's fine.
But guess what?! Inyou don't even have to leave your home to shop! Give reputable subscription services your sizes-and a general idea of your vibe-and they'll send whole outfits to your home for you to keep or send back as necessary.
BombfellStitch Fix and Trunk Club all exist because of men who feel like you do about shopping.
So ate your wardrobe, and you'll feel better and more confident. Seeing how your date interacts with other people will give you a much more well-rounded view of the person they are. Friends and family will bring out different cts of your partners personality and behavior.
You job is to figure out how you feel about these heretofore unknown traits. It's not always easy, but think outside the box. While it's tempting to want to lead with a picture of you in your late twenties, your date isn't going to take kindly to the subterfuge when you show up looking your actual age. It may sound trite, but your attractiveness really does hinge on owning who you are, not who you were or indeed who you will be. A good rule of thumb is to try and post pictures taken within the past 18 months: A window of time in which you probably weighed the same amount or sported around the same amount of hair.
If you really want to show your adventurous side by posting a five-year-old picture of you summiting Mount Kilimanjaro, add a caption that notes the year.
While being authentic is key, being a pill or a grouch is unlikely to have people salivating to spend an evening with you. More importantly, negativity is indicative of pain, which, by your 40s, you've probably experienced. We'd rather learn about your baggage while also discovering all your amazing qualities.
It's where everyone goes to meet new people, and I'd heard a few success stories so I thought I'd give it a try! They were both incredibly opinionated when it came to my pictures, choosing the shots where I came across as confident and approachable, instead of the ones in which I thought I looked the most attractive.
Lesson learned. I was adamant about being as genuine as possible, namely not hiding the fact that I have children and am divorced.
If someone isn't interested in me for those reasons, we wouldn't be a good match. Finally, I found myself only using the app when I was with other people, thinking of it as more of a game than a viable dating option which was due in large part to the unsolicited dirty texts and pictures I often received after only 5 minutes of communicating with matches.
It seems chivalry on dating apps is, for the most part, dead.
I'd open it with friends, peruse the options and then we'd share the exhilarating experience of my matching with someone. I was doing just that at a group dinner when my girlfriend and I realized we'd both matched with all the same guys.
Nothing makes you feel less special than knowing you're one of many. Our guy friend then dropped a bomb. Apparently most men just swipe right which translates to "like" in non-Tinder speak so they'll match with anyone who likes them, greatly increasing their odds of meeting someone.
Dating after 40 is hard but not impossible. And don't just take it from us. Take it from people who actually live it. But to prove that you it's still possible to meet your match, we've gone and asked single people Author: Ashley Moor. As a women in my 's, Tinder dating isn't that difficult and men i've met are okay with my age. It depends what your end goal is and what you are looking for. Plenty dudes want something serious, if . Dating in your 30s and 40s is like, "I wonder what this person's tragedy is" Since this has blown up I want to add my $ First off, I'm a guy (I'm looking at you, creepy-PM sender).
Both my ego and enthusiasm started to shrink as I realized there was nothing special about any of my prior connections. When I finally did weed through the crazies-or so I thought-I went on a horrendous first date. Though it might seem like only young people use social media for IRL connection, those in the over set can also have luck by remaining open-minded online.
Reddit dating in your 40s
I've been married for almost nine years. My husband and I met on Facebook. We'd both been very unhappily married before, enough so that we had both given up on relationships.
We started texting as friends, because we didn't want more. One day in January, he called me, because he knew I was sad. The first time we spoke, we knew we were supposed to be together.
We were married in March," user ruinedbykarma posted on the thread AskWomen. Even if it may seem like a strange concept, rethinking your current and past relationships can lead you to unexpected romantic realizations.
What Were Your First Impressions?
As user spotthj pointed out in the AskWomen thread, the love of your life could have been in your life the entire time. He was 35 and we were engaged within one year and married six months later. We are each other's first marriage. We were solid friends first and actually worked together for around ten years, never giving the other a romantic thought-until we went hiking alone and away from the friend group.
Connect with them to see if you start to vibe off of one another. Marry someone you can be friends with first, it will deepen the connection and joy you bring to each other," she said. They're not just for young people.
All Rights Reserved. Open side menu button. I'm Over 40 and Single.
Girls Need To Stop Doing This At Dates!
Never settle for a mediocre date again. By Ashley Moor February 11, Ashley hails from Dayton, Ohio, and has more than six years of experience in print and digital media.
Read more. Read This Next. Don't worry! Just follow our helpful advice.